So when the first reveal was made of Zazie Beetz as Domino in Deadpool 2 my reaction was the logical one: holy shit this woman looks fiiiiiiine and oh man she’s treating Deadpool as a rug? BADASS! So I’m sure I was not alone right?
Oh. Oh dear.
“Positive discrimination”? Oh apparently it means the same thing as “reverse racism” which is still nonsense and doesn’t exist GIRL BYE
Now this I can understand. Poor white women have so few comic characters they can cosplay as, clearly the millions of cosplaying white women who were all going to cosplay as Domino have to start digging DEEP into old comics to try and find another white woman being represented. The tears! They are so salty!
The person with the ad hominem insults has really cut to the heart of the matter here, it’s her HAIR that’s the problem! It’s impractical! That’s why there’s never, ever, ever been a black woman in comics or otherwise to ever wield a gun because of that damn hair that… makes their heads heavy? So clearly all of these extremely worried white folk are worried about poor Domino’s welfare.
So while we’re worrying about Domino’s safety let’s worry about some other comic characters who are clearly compromised in ways we have been too blind to see until brave Twitter commenters talked about the serious plight of a black woman’s hair.
Deathstroke, AKA Slade Wilson, is supposedly one of the bestest assassins in the entire DC comics universe. One problem with this: THIS FUCKER ONLY HAS ONE EYE. There’s this little thing you might have heard of called DEPTH PERCEPTION?! How does he know how close his target is when he swings his sword? HE DOESN’T! ONE EYE IS IMPRACTICAL!
Look at THIS clown! He may be a brainwashed physiologically-enhanced super soldier created by the dastardly Hydra but he has TWO massive problems. #1, look at that HAIR! It’s going to get in his face and obscure his view while he’s kicking Captain America in his junk! IMPRACTICAL! Then his left arm is MADE OF METAL. How incredibly lopsided must he be? His balance must be AWFUL. I’m pretty sure you never see him standing still, like ever, and that’s because if he stood still he would just tip over because HE HAS A GIANT METAL ARM! IMPRACTICAL!
Taskmaster is capable of learning everything about an opponent by fighting them, making him the ultimate opponent! But what about his FASHION SENSE? How are you going to vanquish your enemy when you have some STUPID HOOD messing up your peripheral vision? Then the cloak too, he’s just asking to catch that on a door handle or a picture frame on a nearby wall. Plus white cloaks are going to pick up EVERY BLOOD STAIN which means hours wasted working on tough to remove blemishes! IMPRACTICAL! Plus he’s got no skin! HOW CAN I COSPLAY AS SOMEONE WITH NO SKIN? IMPRACTICAL!
What a maroon! Cyclops is perhaps the most IMPRACTICAL of them all. First off, he opens his eyes and lasers shoot out of them. IMPRACTICAL AS FUCK. Then to control them he puts on this huge visor which makes him look like a dude from the mid-80’s painted silver pretending he’s a robot. Who the hell is going to take him seriously? IMPRACTICAL!
And then there’s Black Widow. She’s a chick! So… yeah IMPRACTICAL!
Who else is totally impractical because of stupid, petty shit? Let us know in the comments!
In all seriousness, white people: you really don’t have to get so upset because a comic character you barely cared about is being played by a Person of Color. If you don’t agree with the creative choices made by the makers of a movie you could always just… ignore it and not support it financially? Your petty whining about racism against white people isn’t convincing anyone and honestly, you get to be 99% of everything, everywhere all the time. Plus Zazie Beetz looks goddamn stunning so just live with it. OH and if you’re still afraid about impractical hair you obviously never saw FOXY BROWN.
